Coping
by AlexaNDYE
Summary: Tony and Pepper end up having one of their biggest fights. HEAVY ANGST!


**A/N: This story is angsty... So angsty. It's not what I normally write, so please bear with me. It does looked like I rushed towards the end, and I apologize. I wanted to get it done before i went to bed.**

**Disclaimer: Nothing up my sleeve. Special thanks to YouTube for getting me in the mood for angst writing.**

**Please enjoy and (maybe) leave a review. :)**

_**PLEASE READ THIS: USING ... AS A LINE BREAK DENOTES FLASHBACKS/END FLASHBACKS.**_

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Pepper couldn't remember what had happened. It was a messy situation to begin with, she remembered as she curled up underneath the sheets of her own bed in her own apartment. A few tears rode down her cheeks as she thought of her and Tony's recent fight. Yes, they've had smaller fights in the past, and even huge ones, but none of them compared to this one.

…

Pepper had just returned from an agonizing trip to the mall. There was some twenty percent off sale at a high-end store, and she just had to be there. It was a battle to the death, and brutally well played. She managed to get five pairs of shoes and two dresses. She walked towards the kitchen with a huff and thought, _I would've gotten more if that darn lady hadn't elbowed me in the stomach_.

She grabbed a cold, icy water bottle from the fridge and took a long swig before noticing the silence that swept Tony's house.

She began to furrow her eyebrows. "JARVIS?" She called out questioningly.

"Yes, Miss Potts?" His voice boomed throughout the room.

"Any chance Tony is home?" She asked.

"Director Fury had called an hour after you departed." The AI informed her.

Pepper bit her bottom lip and began to frown. "How long has he been gone?" She sat down on the couch in the living room with the bottle of water still in her hand. She hated it when he didn't inform her of his leave of absence, especially when it involved Iron Man, Director Fury, or the Avengers.

There was a slight pause. "He's been gone for six hours, twenty three minutes, and twelve seconds."

"Is he allowing incoming calls or messages?" She looked up at the ceiling.

"Not at this moment, no." JARVIS responded back.

"Please let me know when he gets home."

"Of course."

Pepper lowered her head and placed the bottle on the table in front of her. She leaned back into the couch and allowed the soft cushions to envelope her presence and body. She closed her eyes for a second in attempt to gather her thoughts, calm down, and revaluate herself. Usually, Tony would allow calls and messages to be transferred to the suit, whether it is SHIELD or herself. She couldn't quite put her thumb on why he would do such a thing. The more she thought about the horrible, and not so horrible, reasons why he would cut all communication made her worry levels skyrocket.

Instead, she decided to unpack all of her purchases from the mall.

That same night at midnight, Pepper was almost ready to go to bed. She was still on the couch in the living room, checking out various e-mails and sales on her laptop. She almost jumped when the sound of JARVIS' voice boomed throughout the room.

"Mr. Stark has arrived." The AI informed Pepper.

Pepper, without thinking, placed her laptop on the couch and quickly scurried towards the stairs. Questions and concerns zipped through her mind right as each foot padded against the steps.

"He does not wish to be disturbed, Miss Potts." JARVIS tried to tell her, but she didn't even hear him.

All of the flooding questions and worries effectively blocked out his voice at that exact moment. When she punched in her pass-code and opened the glass door, she was greeted with Tony's backside.

"Tony—"

"I thought I told JARVIS I didn't want to be bothered." He said with a low voice, almost at the point of anger.

"What's wrong?" She quietly asked him, walking towards his figure. He was standing in front of the Iron Man suit that was recently disassembled from his body.

"Please—" He grounded out.

"I tried calling you earlier and—"

"Just—" He grounded out again.

"JARVIS said that you weren't accepting any messages—" She tried to tell him.

Tony only got more irritated from her voice, and her constant nagging. "Pepper."

"Or any calls—"

He wanted to yell at her; he wanted to tell her to get the hell out of his workshop and leave him alone. Instead, he tried to keep his cool. When he turned around, Pepper saw his dark brown eyes, clouded by his own judgment. "Please, Pepper. Please leave me alone."

"Tony." She softly asked him. "What happened?"

He shook his head slightly and walked past her. "Leave."

"You're not making any sense—"

"Pepper!" He faced her and snapped at her. "Stop talking, and get out."

She furrowed her eyebrows at him, trying to stop any tears from taking up the corner of her eyes. "Please." She pleaded. "Tell me what happened."

"Nothing happened." He quickly spat at her. "Now leave."

"Tony, don't say nothing happened. You're never like this." She tried to tell him. When he turned his back to her, she walked after him. "Something happened wherever Director Fury sent you."

"Don't act like you know me." He grounded out, almost abruptly.

She gritted her teeth together, almost losing all control she had on her emotions. "I've been working for you for over ten years, and we've been dating for over three months. Don't tell me that I don't know you. Don't tell me—"

"Pepper, I'm sick of listening to you reprimand me." He turned around and spat at her. When he looked her in the eye, he saw the pure shocked expression she had flashed. "I'm sick of you trying to tell me what to do. I'm sick of-of…" He stopped, almost as if trying to stop himself from saying something horribly wrong that would effectively turn her away for good.

"Sick of what?" She simply asked him; her voice as calm as day. "Sick of me actually caring for you?"

"Stop acting like you care about me." He grounded out.

She furrowed her eyebrows in disgust. "What happened, Tony? What made you come back this way?"

"That's my business, and my business only."

"I'm your girlfriend _and_ your P.A. Your business is my business." She tried to tell him.

"If you won't leave, then I'll leave." He angrily told her, and tried walking past her, towards the glass door.

That's when everything exploded. Pepper grabbed his wrist, trying to keep him in the workshop to work things out. When he felt her grip, he angrily yanked her arm off his.

"Tony—"

"Shut up." He angrily told her.

"You're being a child."

"I'm trying to do the adult thing here!" He angrily yelled at her after he turned around to face her. "Do you know how many people died tonight!" He furiously looked at her. When she didn't answer, he kept going. "At least fifty people died tonight! Fifty fucking people! Not one of them survived! Why? All because of Iron Man!"

"Don't—"

"Don't what?" He spat at her. "Don't act like it's my fault? It's always my fault, Pepper! It always has something to do with me!"

Pepper looked up at him with teary eyes. She had never seen him this angry about anything before. Sure, he got a little pissed off when something bad happened during a mission, but never had he yelled at her. He shook his head and ran a hand through his hair.

"Leave." He silently told her, and walked past her into his workshop.

She took his word to heart and turned around to watch him. Tony walked towards the kitchen and began to reach into the upper cabinet – the cabinet full of all kinds of alcohol. He took out a big giant bottle of vodka and began to pry it open.

"Stop." She said quietly, walking towards him in powerful strides. She angrily took the bottle from his grasp. "Stop acting like you're the only one that cares in this world."

"You're not getting the picture, Pepper." He angrily grounded out. "I'm the one that caused this. I'm the one that killed them. So just leave me alone and let me drown my tears with the one thing that keeps me sane." He reached for the bottle of vodka, but Pepper kept it from his reach.

"What am I to you?" She quickly asked him, making him painfully look at her. "I love you, Tony. I will _not_ watch you drink your feelings away because something bad happened." She paused just as a tear rode down her cheek. She opened her mouth to say something, but paused to gather her thoughts. "It's what I'm here for. I'm here for you to feel better – I'm here so you don't have to resort to _this_." She implicated the bottle of clear alcohol in her hand.

"Pepper, why can't you just accept the way I deal with things." He pressed his lips together.

"Because I don't want you to get addicted to this sick way of coping. It's not healthy." She told him while another tear rolled down her cheek. The way he looked at her made her wonder if he was the same Tony that she cared for. He didn't even look like he cared that he was making her cry. He looked at her as if she was just another girl that tied him down, or someone that kept him from doing what he wanted – He looked at her as if she was just another bump in the road that he could roll over and forget about.

"Give me the bottle, and leave, Pepper." He angrily grounded out. At this point, all Pepper could see was anger and sadness in his eyes. He almost looked like he was at the point of no return.

"No." She quietly told him. "I can't watch you do this to yourself."

"Then leave." He sternly told her. "And you won't have to." He snatched the bottle from her hand and quickly pried it open.

"Tony." The way she gently said his name made him pause. "If you drink that bottle, then I'm done."

He lowered the bottle and gazed at her. Her eyes were red, and puffy. Tears were strolling down her cheeks, gathering at the bottom of her chin, and dripping down her blouse. She sniffed, waiting for his answer. It was an ultimatum, and she knew, in her heart, that he wanted their relationship more than anything – or so she thought.

"I've been done." He quietly mumbled, just enough for her to hear. He took a swig of the bottle and walked away from her, into the depths of his workshop.

Pepper's frown increased as she watched him take a few more sips. He hadn't even looked at her after he began drinking household sedative. She shook her head in disappointment and sobbed to herself as she ascended the stairs. After she had left, Tony finally looked in her direction and solemnly looked away.

Pepper gathered her things off the sofa and the table. She tucked her laptop under her arm and threw everything she could into her purse. Each item she threw into her purse made her tears heavier, until it got to the point of complete and utter disappointment. She brought her hand to her face and tried to wipe her tears away, but only more came rushing down. When she felt her nose start to run, she tried to look for a Kleenex, but eventually gave up after feeling his house start to suffocate her.

She hurried out the door, and didn't look back.

The ride home was a mess. There was a massive traffic jam and it started to pour, and all she could think about was their happiest moments together. The sounds of their giggles from cuddling and fooling around thrashed in her head. The few moments of their love for each other only made her sob more.

That's when she got home, and mindlessly threw her soaked Michael Korr's bag on top of her couch. All she wanted to do was curl up in her bed and cry herself to sleep in hopes that what had just happened… never happened. The rain that pounded against her windows made her emotions get the best of her as she started to sob at the threshold of her bedroom.

…

She was almost fast asleep, until she thought she heard a soft knock against her front door. Thinking it was just the rain, she tried to fall back asleep, but then the soft knock came again. She wiped the tears from her eyes and silently went to go check her door.

When she opened the door, she was greeted with a very soaked and solemn looking Tony Stark. He stood in front of her door step with a deep frown. The rain continued to pound against his grey cotton t-shirt. His old pair of jeans looked like they had just been through the wash. Every ounce of him was covered in rain. Even his hair was soaked and matted down.

He didn't say anything. All he did was look at her. She couldn't tell if he was crying or not. The rain did a fine job of covering those sorts of things up.

"What are you doing here?" She noiselessly asked him, loud enough to get past the sound of rain.

"Pepper…" He looked directly at her. Whether it was rain or tears, all Pepper knew was that it effectively strolled down his cheeks in waves.

Surprisingly, he was sober. This meant that he either didn't drink that much, or very little. She shook her head at his silence and noticed his subtle shivering. She stepped out of the way and gestured into her home.

He solemnly and silently stepped inside.

Pepper wordlessly gave him a pair of dry clothes to change into, and a towel to dry himself off. When he took her offerings, he stood there, as if trying to say something, or at least get her to say something, but Pepper looked away and went back to her bed. Tony dried himself off and changed in her bathroom. When he got out, she was sitting on her bed with her back against the headboard, as if in deep thought.

He wordlessly rounded her bed and sat next to her.

Silence engulfed the room, aside from the pounding of the rain, for a minute or two. She glanced at his side a few times, as did Tony.

"I'm sorry." He gasped, breaking the silence.

"I don't accept your pitiful apology." She told him without missing a beat.

"I didn't—I didn't mean any of it—I don't—" He paused to gather his thoughts but ended up covering his mouth with his hand in shame. "I'm sorry, Pepper. I'm sorry I said those things to you."

"You're lucky I let you inside." She sternly told him without looking.

"There were sixty-two of them." He gently told her, making her turn her to head to finally face him. He glanced up at her and shrugged. "They were all kids – teenagers, actually. There were these crates of dynamite that were rigged to blow, and Fury told me to be careful." He shook his head and breathed a fake laugh. "I'm so stupid."

"Tony—" She honestly felt bad for him. He had to go through so much, and she wanted to do everything she could to calm him down, but it still didn't give him any reason to treat her like she was just a stop sign he could just fly by.

"My stupidity killed sixty-two teenagers." He leaned against her shoulder. Pepper could feel wet spots form on her shoulder as he failed to fight back tears. "Sixty-two."

"Shhh…" She wrapped her arm around his shoulders and stroked his arm in attempts to calm him down. "I'm right here, Tony."

"That's what scares me." He paused in between sobs. "I don't want to tie you down with all of my problems. I want to be able to take care of myself."

"No one can do that alone." She quietly told him.

"I love you." He mumbled. "I'm sorry I said all those things. It wasn't right of me to—"

"No, it wasn't." She agreed with him. "And I don't forgive you for it."

"I know." He softly told her. His wet hair was brushing against her cheek, almost in a gentle and loving way. She sank them down into the bed and wrapped her arm around his waist. He faced her, and looked at her with those chocolate brown eyes of his. She saw hints of self-inflicting sadness and pain. He leaned forward and laid a soft kiss on her lips before resting his forehead against hers.

His eyes closed right before he mumbled, "Thank you."

During the middle of the night, Pepper awoke from a strong grip around her middle. Tony spooned her body against his, and in the midst of his newly acquired nightmares, he had roughly pressed her body against his. His tightened grip had told her how much he needed her, and how much he wanted her to be there for him.

She stayed with him, and in time, she forgave him for saying all those nasty things to her. He spent every waking minute with her after his missions so that he'd eventually get used to the notion of using her has his methodical coping mechanism.

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**Thanks for reading!**


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